How To Become A Food Critic
No, I'm not suggesting for one second that you even consider joining this elite band. Heaven knows there are far too many of them/us, albeit of variable quality. On Sunday last in a national newspaper I read a review of what sounded like a very pleasant lunch - with no clue as to cost.
But I happened to be screen hopping when this little gem of an article popped up with today's title. Have I been doing it all wrong this past decade? Will I pick up tips to enable me to pleasure you all even more?
Tip 1. Get a Bachelor's Degree
Yes! Cracked it. That's me. Reading on, I suspect my near 50 year old Bachelor of Laws degree wasn't quite what they had in mind. Journalism, communications or English are their preferred options.
Tip 2. Write for your school paper
Bit late. What about-
Tips 3, 4 & 5. Take culinary courses/write independently on food topics/expand your knowledge of food
While I started this article with some gentle mockery in mind, this is sound advice. The article continues, Food critics must have an in-depth knowledge of flavor (it's an American piece), food preparation methods, ingredient use and various types of cuisine. It continued, you will have a better appreciation for complex dishes and masterful meal preparation when you've spent time in the kitchen yourself.
Ain't that the truth? Yet I find it frightening that so many so called critics can demonstrate quite appalling ignorance of some quite basic matters. I remember a beef dish which I had enjoyed being described by a reviewer as oxtail. Oxtail is quite unmistakable - this wasn't it.
You don't need to be an expert cook to criticise, but your credibility with your readers and with chefs will be greatly enhanced if you know what you're talking about.
The article warns that as a critic you may upset others. Fellow diners who disagree with you? Not really my experience. Restaurant owners and chefs? Only once, concerning a review in which I suggested that the man in question should have a Michelin star. A funny breed, chefs.
The point about writing independently is, I think, well made. Over the years, on a fair few occasions I've been offered free meals in exchange for reviews. Without exception I've turned them down. While those making the offers are usually PR folk who stress they're not looking for favours, I don't think I'd be happy having taken the shilling. During the scoring process, margins can often be tight. However much we choose to deny it, any review must be subjective to a greater or lesser extent. I'd hate to reread an article (as I do often) and think I'd allowed myself to be swayed by Mammon.
So far as expanding one's food knowledge is concerned, this is not only essential but good fun. Travel is great for this - please tell me you don't seek out British food when you're abroad. It's also useful to have pals with different culinary interests. This year I can point to Sri Lankan and Ethiopian cuisine being reported on for the first time.
6. Apply for Writing Jobs
Tricky at my age. 10 years ago I was turned down for a Masters degree in food at a well known Scottish university. They denied that age was a factor. I didn't believe them then, and I don't believe it now.
And anyway, the article quotes likely salary rates for the very few paid posts around. I'm open to offers, but I don't think Jay, Giles, Grace and co have too much to worry about. If you, on the other hand, wish to join the ranks, now you know how.