The Best Of, The Worst Of…Holidays

You may recall I invited contributions from you on either your best meal or your worst meal - or both. This is a variation on that theme. Hearing of my holiday plans to Corfu, good friend Pat Mennie sent me this tale of woe of her own experiences there. Bless her heart, she awaited my return before submitting it.

My worst holiday – ever

Sometime in the 1980s or 90s we booked a week’s holiday in Corfu.  It was a mid- priced 3 or 4 star hotel called the Ionian Princess in Acharavi on the north east coast. The hotel was very shabby, the room was small and had no air conditioning.  We arrived in time for the evening meal.  The table cloth was stained so I asked the waiter to change it.  They asked us to wait in the hallway and called us back after 15 minutes.  The family at the next table were laughing and told us they had just turned it over.  When we asked for the wine list there was not one – the choice was red or white. The wine throughout the holiday was like paint stripper. The food was appalling.  Dogs and cats roamed at will through the dining room.  They had their own convenient entrances – the broken windows at ground floor level.  We retired to bed – the bedsprings were broken and the bed was sandy – I suspect it hadn’t been changed.

The next day we got talking to the only other Brits – a couple and their 2 young children who came from Dunfermline.  (All the other guests were Eastern European and looked as if they were on a communist factory trip.) The children were crying as the pool was covered in algae so their mother wouldn’t let them swim.  The beach was covered in seaweed and Acharavi itself didn’t even have a taverna.  There was no holiday rep to complain to.  Evening 2 we walked along the beach to the next village where we had a passable meal in a taverna.  Finished at 9 by which time it was dark so we asked the waiter to get us a taxi, to be told – “no taxis – all gone home”.  We walked back by the main road about 2 miles, fortunately it was a starry night.

Next morning a rep appeared and told us without apology that the hotel was closing and we were being transferred to a hotel in Corfu town.  A tour bus appeared and we and the other Scottish family boarded.  After a drive of 10 minutes the driver swerved off the road onto a forest track and drove along this at high speed. I feared we were being taken to a concentration camp.   However, the driver suddenly turned round and shouted “short cut”.  The second hotel was certainly a bit better – probably 2 star rather than a no star.  We decided to cut the holiday short and fly home but we couldn’t get a seat on any flight.

The food at the hotel was OK if you wanted a constant diet of moussaka, tough grilled lamb and Greek salad – such a wonderful selection of feta cheeses!  The tavernas near the hotel were all grubby.  We did try one.  I wanted an omelette and was told “no eggs”.  By this time my husband had stopped eating (a first for him).

On the last night we went into the town centre to eat.  I went into the tourist office to ask for their recommendations.  They suggested a taverna we had looked at and rejected and Pizza Hut.  We wandered into the attractive colonnaded piazza and chose a promising looking restaurant.  We ordered large mezze platters.  They arrived on large dinner plates.  The rim was decorated with Ritz crackers with a cube of feta and a cube of ham on alternate biscuits.  The centre of the plate was filled with a mound of chips.  I am not making this up.

Last day and off to the airport.  The last straw was that the baggage handlers were on strike and we had to carry our cases to the plane – this was in the days before wheeled suitcases. We did complain to the tour company but they kept fobbing us off and as we were both very busy with work we finally gave up.

Strangely enough we were never inclined to return to Greece.  In 2018 we went to Crete for a wedding – my niece was marrying a Greek chap in Chania.  We booked a week’s holiday with some trepidation.  The hotel was lovely (and they upgraded us to a suite with an executive lounge), the food was good as were the restaurants in Chania which was a lovely port town.  In fact, we returned the following year.  Greece has obviously improved its tourist facilities beyond recognition since our first visit.

The elegant lady pictured is indeed Pat Mennie. Artistic licence has been taken with the other two images.