A Grand Day Out at Lindores Abbey Distillery

So, you have an important visitor from Malta who's partial to a dram. What to do? Why, take her back to 1494, of course.

To Fife. The Kingdom of Fife, if you please, county of my birth, and home to many wonders. Imagine, say, that you are a farmer. Imagine that one fine day a stranger appears at your door. As a result, you discover that you own an important piece of history, one which becomes known as a place of pilgrimage for any whisky lover. That's what happened here at Lindores, near Newburgh in the north of the county.

On the farm were the ruins of an abbey, sacked by John Knox during the Reformation in the 1500s. But in the previous century, in 1494 to be exact, an entry was made in the Exchequer Roll (basically the account books) of nearby Falkland Palace. To Brother John Cor of Lindores, eight bolls of malt, to make aqua vitae for the King.

Aqua vitae, literally the water of life, was the precursor to whisky. Its Gaelic name, uisge beatha, has exactly the same meaning. Historians tell us that this is the first ever written record of whisky, a drink both synonymous with Scotland and a key part of our economy. I've written in these pages before of Drew and Helen McKenzie-Smith who took this fact and turned it into the reality of an award winning distillery. I know them through licensed trade circles and, bless their cotton socks, they are readers of this blog. But for some reason I'd never been on an organised tour.

Rereading my earlier piece, I see that tours had been suspended because of The Great Plague. The arrival of niece F seemed an excellent reason to remedy that omission. I suspect many of us have visited distilleries before. To be frank, they're a bit same old, same old. Not here. They combine their 1494 unique selling feature with an eye for design, innovative ideas and some sheer chutzpah to make this a most remarkable experience.

A motley band of about a dozen is entrusted to Liz, a twinkly-eyed little Irish lady. It's not easy maintaining interest during a tour of an hour and a half. I write this as one who is about to go and do that very thing down Edinburgh's Royal Mile. And, of course, I knew a lot of the story. But go down the Great Hall, which has by now hosted numerous functions, great and small, and it's full of fascinating facts and trivia.

There are some examples of wondrously carved fluted stones from the ruins. These were the inspiration for the unique bottle shape used for all the Lindores produce. Examples abound from the monks' influence in agriculture, education and learning. I was, however, confused by the giant wooden chess piece. Well, how do you get a brand new distillery noticed on the world stage? Why not arrange to have the World Chess Championship played on the distillery floor? Words fail. Less esoteric events include weddings, corporate events and anything else fun related.

In the elegant tasting room, Liz demonstrated that she's more than just a history guide. An expert analysis is provided of the various samples on offer. Neither L nor I is partial to a dram, so F was very well provided for. Unlike any distillery tour I've been on, the drivers weren't forgotten either, each one being provided with a cairryoot.

A bite afterwards? Yes, but you do have to prebook. A sharing platter sounded great, and was even better. Only one odd thing. There were three of us, but you can order a platter only for two or for four. No idea why, but when you're this good I suppose you're allowed the odd eccentricity. And they will provide a doggy bag.

The whole Lindores experience is fascinating. It is without doubt the best distillery visit I've ever been on, and I've done a fair few world wide.  I'm trying not to repeat my 2020 article, and you can learn a ton from their brilliant website; however, I have a better idea. Why not take a trip to the Kingdom and experience it for yourself?

Lindores Abbey Distillery, Abbey Road, Newburgh KY14 6HH 

01337 842547    www.lindoresabbeydistillery.com

Distillery Tours (pre booking strongly advised) Adults £15; Children (5years +) £5

Sharing Platters (must be preordered) £30 for 2; £50 for 4