The Wee Fat Lawyer’s A – Z of Food Part 5: T – Z

Well, the final instalment. At last, I hear you cry. One of the main purposes of this section has been to try to ensure you don't die of ignorance, in other words to point out the truly horrendous number of calories to be found in processed food.


See also under Curry and Pizza. This is really a continuation of my mantra, if you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it. I don’t subscribe to the view that all food should have calorie labelling: that’s a step too far for many small businesses. It’s up to us to take responsibility for what we put in our gobs. So here are some calorie numbers help you and, with luck, to terrify you -


Big Mac and Fries: 780


KFC Mighty Bucket for One: 1270


Vegetable spring rolls, sweet and sour chicken and egg fried rice: 2184 (Source: The Irish Times)


Chicken Tikka Masala and Pilau Rice: 960 (Source: HuffPost UK)


Subway Footlong Meatball Marinara with Cheese: 1150


There is virtually nothing bad to write about vegetables, provided you don’t add fat to them. Having said that, they do have a calorific value, so do make sure you record everything, weighing if necessary. Be aware that the starchier veg such as sweet potatoes, ordinary potatoes and parsnips are higher than the average: they are, however, full of fibre, and are filling.


The staff of life, they call it. Well, man has always needed calories to sustain life. Our ancestors who worked the land probably needed about 4000 calories per day to fuel them. Wheat gives us flour which in turn gives us bread, pasta, cakes and more. The 1.5kg bag of bread flour which I have just bought contains 5,130 calories.

X Rated Food

Well, see much of the above. But just in case you are tempted to let yourself go, let The Wee Fat Lawyer show you how much of a miserable git he really is, by ruining some of your best loved treats-

  • Greggs Sausage Roll: 329
  • Dickinson & Morris Melton Mowbray Pork Pie 140g: 538
  • Average Scone with Butter and Jam: c 450+ (Compare the size of scones in cafes today with the ones your Granny made)
  • Chocolate Cake with Frosting: 367 per 30g! And finally
  • Sticky Toffee Pudding with Ice Cream: 688 (Source: J D Wetherspoon – I’ve seen estimates of over 1000 per portion)

I really don’t need to say more, do I?


See above under Dairy. A very useful food for the slimmer in it fat free form. See the recipe for Sin Free Marie Rose Sauce and Multi Purpose Sauce. Drizzle that on your baked potato instead of butter. And mixed with spices or flavourings such as mustard, a great alternative to oil based salad dressings, or ways of brightening up plain veg.


Zzzzz. The sound I hear from many who have tried to work their way through the whole book. This, obviously, is the final section of the A - Z. The very last chapter of the main book will appear in On The Side on Wednesday. I've not had much feedback from you. I do hope some of this has been helpful - I certainly learned quite a lot while researching it.




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